Ode to the Scorned
by Lady-Videl
Summary: A victim of Youko Kurama reappears with a scheme that causes Botan to live a piece of Kurama's past. Wounds of the body heal easy enough, but now Kurama must find a way to win her trust back.
1. Default Chapter

Ode to the Scorned

Disclaimer: I guess every story begins with the admittance that it was not our intention or not our fault. As not to break that pattern, it's not my fault I'm so obsessed with Kurama, it's the creator's fault. Just kidding. I'll give credit where credit is due because I own nothing. That there is a spirit breaker, you know?

A/N: I will try to work this story out to be a Kurama and Botan story the best I can. I haven't truly thought of them as a couple since I first started watching the show, but it's worth a try. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

* * *

The Letter

The powers of demons are truly remarkable. Their evil ways have always been intertwined with the existence of humans, even in the beginning when man was just learning the warmth of fire. So long as there was a demon, there was always a human willing to sell their soul to achieve the supernatural powers that their feeble bodies had not inherited.

It took hundreds of years before man realized the strength of some of these demons was so immense that they could combine Heaven and Hell if they so desired. That knowledge was enough to frighten man from the manipulative, but superior beings that shared their world. Initial fear and respect gave way to greed, and man no longer just wanted that power, but swore that he needed it.

Those whose fear no longer bound them then dared to step into the darkness, venturing so far as to seek out Youko Kurama. By this time, he had become infamous for his thievery. An untouchable creature who was not hindered by any sort of lock, whether it was human made or guarded by enchantments, Youko was truly the best source of power. Years went by and Youko's strength grew far greater than any man could hope to harness. Now this creature of evil could roam freely amongst them, his sheer power was enough to wipe out an entire village within minutes. It was decided then that if man could no longer ally himself with these demons, their only option was to eradicate their existence from the earth altogether.

Bounty hunters grew in popularity but their jobs often proved fatal for the majority of them. The field of hunters narrowed as the price for Youko's death soared. Every bounty hunter in Japan had at least one hand in that chase.

Loathsome demons fell left and right to a dozen excellent bounty hunters, and it seemed the days that demons and humans coincided would soon be over. Demons were banished from any involvement with man; families of mixed blood were torn apart as nobles expelled the demons to the depths of the underworld.

Youko Kurama, however, was not so easily defeated. He continued to terrorize both worlds since the breach between the two worlds had not been completely tapered at that time, all while his power rapidly grew. Lords were divided by selfishness; those who wanted to collaborate with Youko, and those who would not be satisfied unless he was killed. Youko himself was not above killing some of these lords to obtain their wealth.

It seemed there would be no way to impede on the spirit fox. His soul was not one that could be tamed, and with every plea from humans and demons alike, Youko relentlessly stole everything they had.

Then he disappeared.

All that was left was a legend of his vast accumulated wealth and skills that far surpassed any other demons for thousands of years.

Some refused to believe that he was dead, angered that no man stepped up for the reward. Their assets were not safe if they did not know what happened to him and had no solid proof that he was dead. But years passed and there was no sign of the exalted robberies he had once staged.

But some animosity does not heal with time, even if the one resented dies.

Sixteen years later, the greatest insult to surviving Youko victims came during the Dark Tournament in the form of a feeble looking human boy named Kurama. There were valid doubts that the kid could be the same demon they had wanted dead for so long, but they were proved horribly wrong when the boy transformed once with Ura Urishima, and again during his last fight with Karasu. They were wrong in assuming someone as terrifying as him could ever cease to exist.

Youko Kurama lived on.

It was evident that he could not sustain his demonic appearance without assistance from Makai remedies and that as a human, he was virtually powerless, but many were not appeased with his docile façade. They knew Youko better than to underestimate him. Regardless of his frailty, this incarnation of Youko Kurama did not deserve to live.

One lord, whose soul was half human and demon, swore revenge for witnessing the deliberately slow murder of his family by the hands of Youko over a small pendant not worth more than a flake of mica.

Over the years that his ageless life-span allowed him, Etsuya had become skilled in various forms of alchemy and finally had a solid target: Shuichi Minamino.

* * *

_Present Day:_

"Oh, Shuichi, would you just look at those petals?" Kurama watched his mother as she walked to the window, her eyes becoming brighter at the sight of the budding cherry blossoms. "They're almost glowing, aren't they? I haven't seen such a sunset in years." A sigh escaped her lips.

It really hadn't been so long ago that he had taken the lives of people like Shiori. It was a guilt that had burdened him for many years now and gnawed heavily at his heart. He could no longer atone for his misdeeds as a child as his responsibility for aiding the wayward Spirit Detective often put her directly in the hands of demons that most likely had used Youko as a basis for their cruelty.

And still, the smile on her face was so genuine, unlike those Kurama tried to pass. His eyes fell upon the scars on her forearms that he had caused a few years back. There was no way to describe the shame and embarrassment he felt when he was reminded of her kindness to a boy who had caused her so much pain.

"Hanami starts early tomorrow morning." She turned back to her son to find him watching her through a blanket of sadness cast over his eyes. Her smile slowly faded from her lips as she pulled the curtains shut. "Is something wrong, Shuichi?"

"Wrong?" Kurama offered a smile and shook his head. "No, I'm just tired."

"Get some rest, okay?" Shiori sat next to her son and ran her hand through his unruly red hair. "You have a fever." Kurama quickly shrugged her palm away and she lowered her eyes. Even in the dim lighting, she could see the thick, jagged scars etched across his ankle. There were times that he vanished for weeks at a time only to return with wounds marring his frail body. The most recent was the injury to his ankle. He never spoke about the scars and she tried to never bring them up.

Kurama stood up, allowing his pant leg to fall over the scars. He had gradually become aware of her perceptiveness to his injuries he had acquired through battles with several demons and tried desperately to hide it from her. As the years dragged on, he faced a tougher opponent with every mission, and each began to leave wounds that took many months to heal. Karasu's battle had taken a greater toll on his human body than most knew. Already over a year since the tournament, his remedies could not heal the scar.

Hidden shrewdly in the tightened grasp of his fist was a crumpled paper from Koenma. Written on it was yet another summoning to quell a small upsurge of demons escaping into the human world. It could be blamed on him that there needed to be a barrier to keep human and demon separated, and he was sure that there were many that did.

"I have a school project to finish." He admitted quietly.

"Oh?" She sunk back against the couch. A sudden urge to ask a question, any question to pry open his growing secretiveness, was stopped by the beseeching look in his eyes. "Kazuya will be disappointed. He was so looking forward to spending the day with you and Shuichi."

"I'll..." The doorbell interrupted his thoughts, ending the awkward dialogue between mother and son.

"Shuichi, I'll always be here for you." Shiori murmured as she stood up.

"Mother-" She wrapped her arms around Kurama, pressing her head against his chest. Caught completely off guard, Kurama took a moment before he returned her hug.

"You remind me so much of him. He was a truly brilliant man, Shuichi, and I loved him more than anything in the world. But there are times that I feel like you are as far away from me as he is now." She pulled away to collect herself and sighed. "I just miss having you around the house."

"I won't be gone long." He tried to assure both her and himself.

"Shuichi, you're still here!" A rather upbeat voice drifted into the room. "For a minute there, I was afraid I might have missed you. I ran into Yusuke earlier and, well, you know him. Long story short, we got sidetracked so we'd better get going or they'll leave us behind." Botan said in what seemed to be one breath. When she finally noticed the other woman in the room she politely bowed. "It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Hatanaka. Shuichi tells us only the best about you."

"I'm flattered." Shiori smiled sweetly.

"This is... a schoolmate of mine, Botan."

"When will your class be returning, Shuichi?" Shiori ushered them towards the kitchen. "Will you need anything?"

"I have everything I'll need and we should be home in no longer than two days." Kurama hesitated by the doorway, and then slipped through the door.

"Koenma feels really bad about this, Kurama." Botan said under her breath. "He wouldn't have asked your help if he thought the others could do it by themselves."

"I know."

"I have to go fetch Kuwabara. Luckily, he was already on his way to your house when he got Koenma's message. You can go ahead and we'll meet you there." Botan waved and began running the other direction.

The street lights flickered on, replacing the fading rays of the sun. An eerie silence settled over the neighborhood, save the sound of another's footsteps from behind Kurama.

"You've forgotten something, Shuichi." The words sent a chill down his spine as he quickly turned back. The eyes of his younger step-brother looked right through him, vacant of any life.

"Shuichi..." Kurama felt a familiar sensation run through him; panic.

"It would look like your merry little gang has gotten careless without a formidable task." The younger boy spoke. There was no doubt that something had possessed his step-brother. "It's a pity he won't let me end your life here. That's the problem with him though; he always wants his mice to suffer before they're killed."

"If you hurt the boy..."

"Please," He stepped closer. "If I had wanted to do that, don't you think I would have done it already? You didn't even notice my presence, nor did that half-wit mother of yours. I understand, though, why you choose to remain here with such a dull life. Her smell is... intoxicating." A wicked smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

Kurama was at a total loss for rational thought. He had once more allowed his enemy to come within striking distance of Shiori and the mere thought of it sickened him. Instinctively, he reached behind his thick red hair and withdrew from it a rose.

"Would you _really_ use that?" The intruder scoffed. "Your family is not important to him. Our agenda lies with punishing you for locking us up in Makai and for allowing yourself to become the assistant to the man who keeps us there."

"What reason did you have for meeting me like this then?" Kurama demanded.

"How else could I ensure that you would not kill me when I gave you this?" He tossed a crumpled ascot at Kurama and began walking back towards the house. "We all have our reasons Youko. But you are living like this... its embarrassing for all of us."

A foul stench immediately began to emanate from the scarf he held in his hand. From its musk metallic smell, he already knew that the scarf was moistened with blood.

"Is that your equivalence to a security blanket?" Hiei ridiculed from the sakura tree only a few paces in front of him.

When he received no witty remark from the fox, he dropped from the tree, also becoming aware of the acidic odor. Kurama looked down at the scarf, a sudden realization froze every limb of his body. A brisk wind knocked the scarf out of his hand, leaving a scarlet stain in his palm.

"This is..." Kurama's eyes widened. "This is Botan's blood."

* * *

In case you didn't know: 

Hanami: A spring event where families or friends sit under the blooming cherry blossoms.

* * *

I'll try to update as soon as possible. This story will probably distract me from the upcoming finals, but everyone needs a little diversion from responsibility every once in awhile, right? Glares at the evil stack of homework piling up on the table 


	2. Trapped in Nightmares of the Past

Ode to the Scorned

* * *

Chapter 2: Trapped in Nightmares of the Past

"Death is not the greatest of evils; it is worse to want to die, and not be able to"

-Sophocles

* * *

_A cool breeze rushed through the tall grassy field, parting every blade of grass in a deafening roar and allowing a moment of relief to the clammy air. Botan lifted an arm up to shield her eyes from the setting rays of the sun and forced herself up on her elbow. 'Where's Kurama?' She thought, her violent eyes searching the range before her._

_"It's alive." A young voice whispered from behind her._

_"She's probably a spy for -him-." Another responded brashly._

_"Who-" Botan clenched her teeth in pain, and tried to sit up before the pang ran up her spine and stung every nerve in her body, sending her back against the ground._

_"What sort of trouble are you children causing now?" An older woman asked as she made her way through the field._

_"There's a lady by the bushes." The first child answered._

_"A lady? My goodness, you two..." When she ventured further into the yard, she gave a startled gasp and broke into a run towards the injured deity. "Bring your father, hurry!" She returned her attention to Botan. "Are you badly injured?"_

_"I..." She forced herself up, each rib in her chest had begun to throb more with a low annoyance than with the sharp pain just minutes before. "Silly me." She laughed tautly. "I must have tripped."_

_"You gave me quite a start. Our village has been heavily guarded for many months now, yet I have never seen you before."_

_"Village?" Botan finally noticed the old fashioned kimono, the kind she had only seen worn in illustrations of the past. The houses behind her were built up with logs and roofed with a thick stack of yellow straw._

_"It isn't safe to be out after dark. Come, you can stay with us until you are well enough to return home."_

_"But I was looking for Kurama." The woman froze in her tracks, her face growing pale._

_"Then you are a bounty hunter?"_

_"Me? No, he's..."_

_"There is no amount of money that can compensate for the lives that will be lost if you chose to lure him here."_

_"I'm not a bounty hunter." Botan insisted, a slight fear combining with her confusion._

_The woman eyed Botan for several more minutes before inviting her back to her home. It was a tiny cottage just out of reach of the forest._

_'I was just with Kurama...' Botan thought as she knelt on the floor beside a small table. 'What happened?' The two children from earlier stared wearily at the blue-haired maiden they had discovered. 'I must have been taken to Makai... but these people... they're human.' Her gaze returned to the kitchen where the mother of the two kids stirred a pot of rice. 'What was I suppose to be doing? Koenma sent me to...'_

_"We don't have much to offer you but a place to sleep and little food." Tsuya, the woman who had offered Botan her home, brought out a tray of food containing nothing more than rice and a bit of sake. "I warmed it with some herbs to help you sleep tonight."_

_"You're very generous."_

_With the children watched form a distance as Tsuya began to roll out a futon. Weariness quickly settled on Botan. 'Was I kidnapped? I have to find Kurama or...'_

_"If you don't mind my asking, where are you from?"_

_As simple as the question was, Botan was at a loss for words. Where was she from? She was looking for Kuwabara and had just spoken to Kurama. What was she meeting them for again?_

_"I can't remember." She admitted._

_"That's alright. You just need some rest is all."_

_Each minute dragged on, every thought and question became harder and harder to answer. The family filtered out of the room, burning out the candles that had been lighting the small hut. She stared blankly at the ceiling above her in a haze that left her too exhausted to sleep. She knew there was something that she needed to do, but it was almost as though her memory was fading._

_A sudden blast from outside kicked dust through the unshielded windows. A brilliant blaze of orange light followed the explosion, illuminating the dozens of people racing across the field and to the safety of the forest, their expression of fear clear to Botan even as she sat on the floor. Rustling came from the hallway as the father held a sword in one hand and threw the door open. Tsuya, still dressed in her nightgown, pulled both of her children through the living room where Botan lay._

_"We have to get to the bunker, follow us." She said in a panic. "Do not linger!"_

_Botan complied silently, pushing herself up despite the ache in her chest. Before they reached the door, Tsuya's husband slumped over, and then fell to the floor._

_"Akio!" She cried, covering her children's eyes and blood poured from his chest where a scythe had been crudely thrown at him. "Oh, my husband!" She ran to her stricken spouse and cradled his lifeless body in her arms, tears slipping down her cheeks._

_"I tire of these screams." A voice grumbled outside. "How many men are still at the castle?"_

_"I gave them instructions to go back." A more familiar voice responded. Then there was a silence that instinctively caused Botan to push the children back through the hallway. A vine snaked its way through the room, extending its reach through the house and searching for the nearest warmth. "Silence, wench. You have cried enough for that corpse."_

_"You should feel honored, Tsuya, at least we acknowledged your life before you were killed." The first man added. "Think of us as your deliverers."_

_"Curse you! Curse you both to the depths of hell." The woman shouted._

_"Hn." The vine encircled itself around her neck, quickly snatching her off the floor and hanging her in midair. Tsuya clawed at the noose, her cries of agony slowly being cut off as the vine constricted her throat. Her legs kicked frantically, and then went limp, her silhouette still swaying in front of the door._

_"I wonder if he was even aware she was a demon." A man stepped over the bodies. "Besides, I don't see why they have to be so defiant when they're going to die. It only makes it more difficult for me to enjoy their suffering."_

_"Their lord hardly had any valuables. This village wasn't worth my time." The other voice paused, the continued with a more sarcastic tone. "Were you jealous that your advancements had been rejected by her?"_

_"Shut up before I kill you too, Kurama."_

_Botan held her palms over the two kids mouths, pressing her back against the wall trying to hide them from the attackers. Her heart immediately froze as the dialogue continued between the two men, one of which was most certainly Kurama. Her thoughts were clouded by fear, but she was sure..._

_"Take your brother and run." Botan instructed. The older sibling grabbed the boy's hand and ran through the hallway and out the back door. She had to be sure. She pressed once more against the wall and peeked over to the living room._

_The fire was very close to the house by then, lighting the house like it was the middle of the day. The first man was covered in dirt and blood, his long black hair tied up neatly and covered with a tattered old hat. Pair of black wings was tucked neatly behind his shoulders as he strode foreword._

_But the man who caught her attention was the demon behind the first one. His clothes were still perfectly white, untainted like his partner's. His exposed skin showed no sign of ever being scarred. His silver hair flowed freely behind him with two fox-like ears protruding from his head. But it was his amber eyes, which held no remorse for the amount of lives that had just been lost at the expense of his partner's revenge and his demonic responsibility that frightened Botan the most._

_This was not Kurama, the red-head, brilliant, kind-hearted young man she knew. This was him as his purest form, the fox-spirit, Youko Kurama. And although she had seen Kurama transform into his demon form on more than one occasion, he was a completely different man. He had absolutely no qualms about murdering innocent people._

_"Human blood is so hard to remove from this blade." The bat-youkai reached for the hilt of his scythe, pressing one foot against the back of the dead man and pulling it from his body._

_"Kurama, what's going on?" Botan felt herself grow numb and slip to the floor._

* * *

"You think so simply these days, Kurama." A man said, standing over the unconscious body of Botan. "She's the most important, yet you followed the less obvious path. The only reason you have for fearing Shiori's demise is that you would have done it yourself eighteen years ago. Though I am impressed. You've created quite the facade to protect your friends from who you really are. But who better to indoctrinate with your past than the angle of death?"

* * *

"That stupid girl, she's always getting herself in some sort of trouble." Koenma murmured as he examined the scarf stained with blood.

"Do you have any idea who might have wanted to harm her?" Kurama inquired.

"No. In fact, she wasn't even part of this mission. I only sent her to deal with you guys." He sat the cloth down and tapped his finger thoughtfully on the table.

"She wasn't carrying any substantial information?"

"Look, Kurama, I don't know where she is. If I had any idea, I would have told you already." He answered sternly and Kurama nodded calmly. "I know how you feel. They should have taken one of us instead of her, but they didn't. We can't sit here searching for clues that don't exist. All I know was that this case had nothing to do with any hot-shot demons from Makai that would be capable of taking her."

"Then let me search Makai while you investigate..."

"I can't let you do that."

"Why not?" Kurama raised an eyebrow.

"The barrier is shut down while Botan is gone. We can't risk human-demon interaction because spirit world is already backing up with the dead. Until I can find a replacement, we have to stay here and try to narrow down our suspects."

Kurama clenched his teeth. It was infuriating to not have the power to find the innocent ferry of the underworld that had been caught in the center of a brawl she hadn't even known about. There was more than one way to get into Makai, and he of all people would be capable of finding at least one of them. With that thought, he departed from the over-sized office of Spirit World.

"Hey Kurama, what's up?" Yusuke said with a rice ball stuffed halfway in his mouth. When he didn't receive a response, he slowed down. "Is something wrong?"

"I have business to take care of."

"You're not thinking of going yourself, are you?" Hiei glared at the fox from across the hallway. "If they catch you breaking their precious rules, you'll never see your mother again."

"Going where?" Yusuke forced his way back into the conversation.

"And what, do you propose, do they have that can possibly keep me from going?"

This caught Hiei slightly off-guard. It had been awhile since he had seen Kurama, but he was positive that Botan's wellbeing meant a lot to him. "It's not like Koenma can fix this himself. Why is she so important to you?"

"Who's her?" Yusuke interrupted once more.

"You incompetent. Maybe if you showed up on time you wouldn't be so clueless about everything."

"I'll have you know I was in the middle of very important games..."

"Botan's been kidnapped." Kurama said under his breath.

"Botan?"

"Does everything have to be repeated for you?" Hiei ridiculed with a cruel smirk tugging at his lips. After a short, rather one-sided argument favoring Hiei, the fire-youkai turned back to Kurama. "I can get you there without them finding out."

"Then it seems that you're not totally cold-hearted after all."

"Please." He closed his eyes with an annoyed expression growing more visible on his face. "I'd rather fight off demons than listen to Yusuke for another minute."

"Hey! I'll have you know that I'm going too."

"You'd be more useful entertaining Koenma and keeping him off our trail than you would be with us, blabbering until you blow our cover. Besides, he trained you to be his lap-dog, and I'm sure he has some pointless task already lined up for you to complete."

"I'm really gettin' tired of hearing your voice, Hiei. You disappear in Demon World for over a year and act like we still need you."

"I'm not helping you or any of your pathetic indolent lackeys."

"Stop wasting time." Kurama strode past the two and down the hall.

"Man, he sure seems worried about her. I think Botan can hold her own while we figure out who has her." His statement earned a scowl from the shorter demon.

"Of course he's worried, you idiot. Whoever took her left a cloth covered in her blood."

* * *

_"It looks like you missed one, Kurama." Kuronue grinned._

_"You're too easily amused, Kuronue. I'm going back to the camp before someone makes off with ours goods."_

_"Wait, Kurama!" Botan stumbled out form her hiding spot, her words catching in her throat as both demons stared at her watched her._

_"Well, this is the first." Kuronue chuckled. "Maybe it wasn't such a waste of time to come here after all."_

_He reached out with his calloused hands, grasping Botan by the neck and dragged her across the room. She struggled against his firm clutch and beat one fist against his arm._

_"I don't think she appreciates your concern."_

_"Kurama..." Botan rasped as Kuronue's hold grew tighter. "I... please..."_

_'He doesn't even recognize me.' Botan thought frantically. 'I must be in the past... How? But everything feels so real. They're going to kill me.' She dug her nails into the bat-youkai's arm, dragging them across his skin and drawing blood with each scrape._

_"Humans. Every time I see them, they become less respectful. They shouldn't start begging for their lives in front of me." He turned his back to Botan and started out of the door. Kuronue dropped Botan to the floor and followed Youko._

_"You'll be killed, Kurama!" She coughed. Her words made Kurama stop at the doorway._

_"You delusional wench. There isn't a person alive capable of scratching me, let alone killing me."_

_"By a bounty hunter..." She continued desperately._

_"I've heard enough of your babble." He narrowed his eyes and reached behind his silver hair for a seed. Within a second, the seed had sprouted into several branches with salivating tips, the drool eating through the floorboards of the damaged home._

_'This has to be a dream!' Botan reasoned with herself as she struggled to gain her balance. 'This Youko Kurama doesn't exist any more. Kuronue died years ago!' She tripped over Tsuya's body, her hand landing in a puddle of whatever was leaking from the plant's mouth. The pain was more real than anything she had ever felt in her life. It ate through every nerve in her hand, sending painful shocks through her body._

* * *

'Take your time, Kurama.' He dripped water over Botan's palm. 'She's experiencing history as I once did when you stole my family that night. I wouldn't want her to miss a second of it.' He laughed, 'It's truly amazing how the mind can be manipulated while at rest. Even if you do find her, any pressure applied to her body will feel like she's being stabbed a thousand times over.'

* * *

_In Case you didn't know:_

_Everything happening in Botan's dream is italicized._

I'm really sorry for not updating like I said I would. Finals are this week and I was busy studying so I could fail them, then I had such a hard time thinking of how I could start the next chapter. I'm sorry if this chapter isn't that good, and I have to admit I'm slightly disappointed by the outcome of it. I re-wrote it at least three times, and made little improvements each time, but I hope you can forgive a spastic person like me.

Magus Black: Thanks for being my very first reviewer of my very first attempt at a Yu Yu Hakusho story!

pili-chan: I appreciate your review and I'm happy to hear that you actually liked my story. I've had such bad luck at writing lately, but maybe I've broken that streak.

MarialeBenitez13: Thanks for dropping a review. I wanted to use Shuichi as the message carrier because I know that Kurama wouldn't hurt him even if someone possessed him.

AyukaRyou: That's really nice of you to say. Though I'm sure after this chapter, you probably don't feel the same way. Heh. Thanks for your support and I'll try to make the next chapter better.

KaraKurama: I hope this chapter answered your first question, and thanks for supporting my decision to revise my first chapter.

Lady of Roses: I'm trying to bring a little bit of the unforeseen into this story because I haven't read too many stories that stick with the original characters and can stay away from clichés or yaoi tendencies. Thanks for reviewing!

Licensed to Kill: I'm so flattered that you think so! I only recently read your story, _Beautiful is Death_ and I loved it! I was surprised that you said such positive things about my story when you are one of the most creative and talented Yu Yu Hakusho authors out there. My story can't even compare. Gives a little promotional to any people reading this chapter to check out her story (Isn't that shameless? lol) But, seriously, thanks for reviewing.

crescentmoon-cat: I'm glad that you liked the first chapter. Sorry I couldn't post this one sooner, but it's done now.


	3. Words of Guilt and Repentance

Ode to the Scorned

----

Chapter 3: Words of Guilt and Repentance

---

By now, the delicate pink blossoms of the sakura trees were withering and falling with reluctance from the safety of their branches. Kurama intensely watched the petals as they began to litter the freshly grown grass outside of Yusuke's apartment. Without their attachment to the tree, the leaves would slowly decay, each one being cruelly stepped on by an unknown passerby who didn't even give it a second thought until there was nothing left but small flecks of pulpous soil mixed with dirt. The blossoms, just like humans, were short-lived and rarely impacted another so that it would be remembered after it vanished.

"I don't suppose you have a plan?" Hiei asked humbly, noticing the transfixed expression on Kurama's face.

Emerald eyes met crimson ones while no emotion whatsoever betrayed his calm look. Hiei often found _something_ in the way Kurama conducted himself that could be easily interpreted as him forming a strategy. It had always been something too subtle for Yusuke of Kuwabara to catch, but it had been necessary for Hiei to learn of. He had been deceived by Kurama only once in his life, but he wouldn't allow that to happen again. Kurama was always planning, stepping outside the narrow perspective that others had and pinpointing even the most infinitesimal weakness of an opponent. While blinded with greed, Kurama easily tore down Hiei's feeling of invincibility. That was Kurama's expertise. His power didn't lie with his strength so much as his mind, although that had not always been the case. He had only managed to live that long because he had both strengths, and without both, Hiei knew, Kurama's life in this time would be much shorter than usual. But when tasks became personal, it was difficult to understand what the kitsune thought of or how he planned to get himself out of terrible situations. Still, he had _always _had a way.

_'That's not true.'_ Hiei thought to himself. '_He didn't have a plan eighteen years ago and it almost cost him his life.'_

"If at all possible, I would prefer that the other two aren't involved in the battle." Kurama murmured his eyes closed as he tried to block out the interferences of the cherry trees and the sound of Kuwabara and Yusuke ruthlessly fighting over which video game to play.

"Aa." Hiei replied. "It would seem as though you are starting to think you can't go through with this. You better reconsider."

"The human body is a frail thing, Hiei." Kurama extended his numbing leg out so the circulation could return to it. "I've fought in many conflicts, each time slowly regaining the powers I lost from my former form, but at the expense of this body." He tugged at his pant leg, revealing his gruesome scar that he had tried so hard to hide from them. Its jagged pattern should have been easy to spot from a far distance, yet Hiei could not recall noticing it in the past years.

"What are you getting at?" Hiei narrowed his eyes at him.

"You and I both know that these battles never get easier and only someone with immense strength would dare take Botan from under Koenma's nose. At my current condition, I can not heal the wound Karasu's bombs inflicted on me. I may not walk away form this one with just a simple scar."

Kurama had always been strange, as either human or demon. He knew death better than anyone else for he had been death itself, slaughtering countless lives, and then he had experienced the other end of the sword when he was almost killed. The mere thought of death usually caused a person to panic and question their purpose on earth. Yet Kurama spoke of death as a child would of taking a midday nap. It was just something that had to be done, not that it was always wanted.

"Stop trying to act like a hero. I needed some good practice, so I didn't even intend to let you fight."

Kurama looked at Hiei and smiled. At least he could go there knowing that Hiei understood, this knowledge coming from the untimely jab just seconds ago.

'_The cherry blossoms... are there to serve at the pleasure of the tree. It is proof enough that the tree summons the blossoms back every year and they selflessly obey with the understanding that they won't last long. The tree serves a greater purpose than the blossoms, so it should be sufficient that the petals even existed for the tree. But the petals accomplish much for the tree before they too must inevitably expire with time. They attract attention, whether it is good or bad, and that allows the tree to live on through its regeneration in pollen and seeds. It is then that even the lowly blossoms have a chance of rebirth.'_

"Are you prepared then?" The red-head nodded wordlessly. It was good to have a companion like Kurama, a man who went fearlessly into battle, still confident in his abilities even if he knew they may not save him in the end. He never made rash decisions in the fear of death, neither did Hiei. "Then let's go before those idiots come in here."

"Alright."

---

_"I'll leave her for you, Kuronue. I can't stand her voice." Kurama departed from the house, quickly disappearing in the shrouded mist of the night. That woman had a strange aura about her, and her screams echoed in his ears bringing only the slightest feeling of guilt before he distracted himself with the victory of his latest heist._

_Back at the house, the black-haired demon proceeded to recklessly toss the furniture across the room, demolishing anything that would have indicated that a peaceful family once lived there. Botan trembled in fear and pain, her hand still stinging from the acidic saliva from Kurama's plant. 'Well, at least I know now that no one was just faking their pain when they fought Kurama.' Botan though with dull sarcasm as she tore a bit of cloth from her jacket to wrap her hand. It was too late to try to hide from the bat-youkai because he had already found her, so as soon as her bandage was secured she tried her best to stay still, hoping he would soon tire of his destruction and leave._

_He made his way through the back of the house, tearing apart every room as though in search for something. Botan pushed herself up and ran to the door and out of the house. Dawn was breaking, hindered only by a gentle downpour of rain which revealed the devastation of the night's raid. Small orange embers were smoldering as the precipitation fell steadily. Another crash from inside the house caused Botan to continue to run._

_'They will save me, I know they will.' She thought to herself. 'Koenma will send Yusuke and the others...' No comfort came from the thought, however, because Kurama's cold eyes, which had been so willing to let her die, frightened her even though he had gone. Though he was certainly different from the Kurama of her time, this was Kurama in his true self. It was also what the Kurama of her time strived to reclaim. And in the end she couldn't be sure if this was the true past. If it was, then if they defeated Kurama in this time, it would surly end his existence in her time._

_"Where are you running off to?" Came a deep growl._

_'I can't let him catch me!' She felt the rain start to fall harder; her lack of rest added to the weight of her watered-down clothing began to slow her adrenaline rush. She was easily overcome from behind, her face smashing against the moist ground as her body skidded to a stop. The weight of the demon above her constricted her lungs. She braced herself for an attack only to feel his rough hand against her other cheek, flipping her around from underneath him._

_"Let me go!" She demanded, turning away from his unrelenting glare. "When my friends come..."_

_"They won't." He answered quickly. "You heard Youko. There isn't a person alive that can save you. Except me." He leaned over her, his face coming closer to hers._

---

The sky of Makai was already turning black, evil thriving in the slow growing abundance of dark. Kurama trudged on, his pace becoming annoyingly faster, each step becoming more difficult for Hiei to keep up with. It took too long to walk the paths of Makai searching for any particular demon or whatever it was that took the deity, and as the moments passed by, Kurama's anger began to build up. Hiei figured that pretty soon his anger would blow their cover. He needed to draw Kurama's attention away from the thought that the detective's assistance might already be dead.

Yet nothing came to him. Hiei grunted inwardly at his lack for words. Comforting anything wasn't something he was ever good at, nor did he ever want to be. His jurisdiction included Makai, and he hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary. Inside, Hiei knew that he was mostly at fault for ignoring the spirit detective and his little group. They were essential to the safety of Makai, though he would never admit to such. But Kurama was _really_ mad about her kidnapping. A smirk graced his lips for a moment.

"How have things been in Ningenkai?"

"What do you mean?" Kurama said through lightly gritted teeth.

"I haven't been back there in a couple of months."

"I wasn't aware you were concerned with our dull lives."

"Maybe it isn't as dull as I thought." His grin grew as his words started to corner the fox. "You've broken several Makai and Spirit World rules to get over here, without so much as a clue as to her whereabouts. You're standing on a very thin wire, Kurama, and it's about to snap."

"Does your speech have a point, Hiei?" Hiei fully enjoyed the ire that surrounded Kurama and could have sworn that his eyes were burning with fury.

"You'll pay a great price for all this, no matter the outcome." He said more seriously. "The child gave you orders and you disobeyed them. Your presence here may not help the situation at all."

"That is a risk... that I have to take."

"Why?" He abruptly stopped.

"Because I..." He slowed down, and then stopped as well. "Botan was gathering all of us for a mission, and as she left for Kuwabara's house, something possessed my younger brother."

"Why didn't you mention that earlier?"

"You know as well as I do what happens when Koenma involves himself and the others in important battles." He paused. "We can't afford that much bloodshed this time, not when there's an innocent life on the other side."

"And so you've concluded that you must protect her from both her kidnapper and her friends?"

He wanted to explain that it was much more complicated than that, but Hiei was talented at wording things down to their simplicity in order to receive the answer he wanted. It was in those instances that Kurama did not speak to him in order to keep from incriminating himself. Hiei was the only person who constantly kept him on his toes. He was numerous steps ahead of the others, but Hiei was never far behind, continuously making him question his own motives and powers. Life was always black and white; even with his other accomplices, but Hiei had a fairer balance of respect and lack of fear for the kitsune, and most likely thanks in part to Kurama's human form.

"Then you'd report me to your superiors?"

"_I_ don't have superiors, you fool." Hiei glared at the red-head whose sense of humor easily angered him.

---

"I see." She whispered, leaning against the wall with the phone pressed to her ear. "No, nothing's wrong... I just wanted to know if there were any events coming up... No? No, that's fine. Actually, Shuichi hasn't been feeling well, but I was wrapped up in work and forgot to excuse his absence.... If you could do that, that would be great. Alright, thank you."

Shiori slid down the wall, clutching the phone close to her heart. It hadn't been the first time he had lied to her, and she never knew when to expect him home, if he chose to go back home. From his birth, he had always been... different. It was something that her husband had noticed earlier than she had, all the while she had excused his placid behavior as a boy being content with his surroundings. She should have known known that no child could ever be so accepting of their life. At least not the way Shuichi had been.

And it wasn't as though her husband hated their son. That was far from the truth. They had once been a truly happy family. Shiori drew her legs up close to herself and rested her chin on her knees. Her husband had grown weary of their son before he died, but she had not noticed until recently. After he died, Shuichi slowly began to change. He had been so young. She had believed he was young enough that he should have been able to get over his death quickly. But he had turned his back on the world, absorbing himself with school.

It hadn't been his obsession with knowledge that was disturbing because he gave her a great pride like none other in her life. But there were instances where he treated her... like she was mediocre. She felt herself choke at that thought. He had every right to think so. He was much smarter than anyone she had ever known. She would have ventured to say that he had the power to be violent... until her own accident that left her arms blemished.

After that, Shuichi became a completely obedient child, overly so sometimes. Shuichi was the definition of perfect. He had grown into a handsome, smart, loyal young man. And still, he seemed to be living another life. One which wouldn't allow Shiori to guide him and where he could possibly...

"How's the field trip going for him?" Kazuya knelt down next to his wife, reaching out for her shoulder in concern. "Is everything alright?"

"Oh, yes. He's having a great time." She offered a weak smile. "But he won't be able to call until they get back." As she stared into the gleaming brown eyes of her new spouse, a tinge of guilt rushed through her as she realized how easily she was able to lie to him. Shuichi was her life, and she felt she had to protect him at all costs. In any case, her son would do the same for her and she truly had no idea where he was.

"Well..." He sighed. "Then let's go out and find something for us to do then."

"Okay."

---

_"You're fortunate that we stumbled upon you tonight." Kuronue's hot breath met at her ear before he spoke again. "Who knows what demon waits out there for you."_

_Botan scanned the rainy field, screams emanating from the forest just yards away. Cries were met with vicious roars from lower class demons, a battle for the right to live ensued before her eyes._

_"Why have you done this?" She yelled, receiving a smirk as he stood up above her._

_"Betrayal." He smirked wickedly, grasping her shirt by the collar. "Have you ever been betrayed?" Botan glared and answered his question with silence. "Don't you find fallen angels interesting in the least? They are, as the name states, angels, aren't they? Yet it is the blood on their hands which so prevents them from living a virtuous life."_

_"There's not virtue in slaughtering people!"_

_"Don't be naive." He hoisted her into his arms, taking flight in the rainy skies. "Do you think there is no way to repent enough for past sins just to be with someone?"_

_"Demon's can't repent. You don't feel that you should be held accountable for those lives you ended, and that is why your hands will always be stained in blood." Anger welled up in her chest. "She had children!"_

_"She was well taught in deceiving people, though I should have guessed you were none the wiser. That woman was a demon just as I am. Her hands stained just as mine. And for what reason do you think her life is so different from mine? If we can't repent, what do we do?" He chuckled to himself. "Just think of me as a demonic savior. Nothing can excuse our sins and we can't all suffer forever, can we? I just brought her suffering to an end sooner than she would have liked." He glanced down at the blue-haired girl and gave an annoyed sigh. "I let her children live, didn't I?"_

_Botan quietly bided her time, the rain sending shivers throughout her body. The demon that held her scowled out in the distance, rain fused with thick blood dripped from the rim of his torn hat._

_'This is Kurama's life.' She bit her lip as the blood trickled onto her arm. So many innocent lives ended, for the sake of one scorned man. How can he even be the same person I know? It can't be this has to be some sort of illusion. But Koenma had mentioned Kurama's past atrocities. I don't even know what to think anymore...'_

_"You actually brought her back?" A voice broke her thoughts as Kuronue's feet touched the ground. "Where she will no doubt attract the attention of every bandit within yards of here."_

_"Or perhaps she already attracts your attention?" He smirked. "They've all got their own women to keep themselves preoccupied. Once again, Kurama, you are the only demon without one."_

_"Village women," He waved Kuronue past the entrance of their dwelling, a noticeable grimace tugging at his face. "Are nothing but a nuisance. I thought you would have learned that by now, Kuronue."_

_Kuronue tossed Botan a nearby bed and turned back to his accomplice. He walked up within inches from the kitsune-youkai and paused._

_"I worry about you sometimes."_

_"And why is that?" Kuronue extended his arm and smacked his friend on the shoulder._

_"No man can go too long without the touch of a woman. Honestly, without those 'nuisances,' what reason would your men still have for fighting for you? Women are good for motivation, and while you prefer those youkai wenches, they can never compare to the gentleness of humans."_

_Kurama stepped away. "Their touch will make you weak. Don't expect me to save you when you live solely for the happiness of a human woman. Their lives are expendable and their only purpose, my friend, is to line my pockets with their gold."_

_"No amount of treasure can save your soul, Youko." He brushed past the silver-hailed kitsune. "I'm not going to preach to you, but you've been acting strangely for the past few weeks. Maybe you're in need of a well deserved break, Kurama. I had things I had to do anyways; she's all yours tonight."_

_---_

_----_

_-----_

KaraKurama: I'm trying to answer that question, but it's still a little cloudy in my own mind. I have so many directions I want to go with this story, but I don't want it to be another "Oh, they look at each other and just fall in love blah blah blah" kind of story, you know? So I hope to actually get Kurama in a scene with Botan in the next chapter, then maybe.... something will happen. Heh.

Magus Black: Thanks for dropping another review and I apologize for taking so long with this chapter. I hope it's worth it.

Licensed to Kill: I've been struggling to keep an original idea for my plot when I've spent so long reading others stories before I wrote mine. I just wasn't completely satisfied at how these two always end up being paired (i.e. they gaze into each other's eyes and fall madly in love even though they've been looking at each other since Kurama came into the picture, but we'll just add in that he loved her then too), but I'm afraid my stab at it may just be what I wanted and not so much what anyone else wants. In any case, it's extremely helpful to have reviews like yours because it assures me that I might have something going here. Thanks for being so positive about my story. That means a lot to me and helps to quell my... ahem... writers block. I'll try to keep some torture in there, since that's what happens in most of my stories, but I hope not to overdo it.

Crescentmoon-cat: I was sort of iffy about making Youko too mean to Botan, but I'm somewhat sure of what I'm going at with this now. I don't like the idea that Youko would fall in love with just any blue-haired girl he met because it's not really his character, you know? Anyhow, thanks for reviewing.

Lord of the dark Fluffiness: Let me start off by saying I love your name thingy (what is it called? shrugs). Anyways, thanks for dropping a review.


	4. The Plan

Ode to the Scorned

-

Chapter 4: The Plan

-

A cool mist rolled through the forest of Makai, hindering Yusuke's view of the land before him. He trudged forward while ignoring Kuwabara's nagging from behind. He was not the only one who feared that with each step they were becoming more and more lost within the demonic land, but Kuwabara was a bit more... vocal with his concerns.

"Maybe we should have just waited for..."

"For what, Kuwabara" Yusuke snapped. "They didn't have us in their plans, in case you hadn't noticed. Ah, who needs them anyways? The only thing those two are really good at is pissing me off."

"Maybe Koenma gave them different orders." Kuwabara offered with a more hopeful tone.

"Why do you always have to be so dumb? Maybe if you'd just shut up for a minute, they wouldn't have left us. Besides, you're always slowing everybody down."

"And I'm sure they had a hard time tearing themselves from your charming personality." The taller boy replied blandly. It was true that Hiei and Kurama had often allowed Kuwabara to slip out of their schemes because he was one of the weaker fighters, though he would never actually say so. Nonetheless, the fact that his powers were innately human and not tainted with anything demonic helped heal the scar left by admittance of his feebleness. In any case, the two rarely ever left Yusuke out, so the both of them being left behind were a complete shock. "Hey, I'm getting a bad feeling."

"I bet." Yusuke kicked at the moist leaves beneath him. "This place is stirring with stupid monsters. Man, I had a lot of things to do today."

"That's enough, Urameshi. I don't want to hear that there's anything more important than a friend."

"Cool it." He mumbled, a faint flicker of power interrupting their argument. "You feel that"

"That's what I was talking about." He grumbled as he started into a run. It suddenly occurred to him why Yusuke hadn't been included in their travel.

-

-

"What a nuisance." Hiei placed his sword in the sheath as a bloody mess of bodies littered the ground. It was almost pathetic that so many weak demons still existed so deep into Makai.

"I would seem we're getting closer." Kurama commented, methodically stepping over the strewed carcasses. His eyes were fixated on nothing but the path before him. His concentration was utterly eerie, almost as though Hiei was not even near him. Of course, Kurama did acknowledge his presence every so often, but most of the time he seemed to be speaking to himself.

It was understandable, however. It had been a couple of days since they had begun their search, and their only lead had been the odor of Botan's blood. That wouldn't be enough since the stench of the decaying land masked blood extremely well. It was possible, and very likely, that the abductor had been after one of them and therefore would not hurt Botan, unless the objective all along was to bring them into a trap. Hiei gritted his teeth. He hated being led into traps.

He opened his mouth to ask Kurama how he had come to the conclusion that they were close, but quickly decided against it. Whatever confidence Kurama had at the moment was the only thing that led both of them to believe Botan was still alive and that they had a chance to find her. He stayed a few good paces behind Kurama, sensing that an even greater nuisance was catching up to them.

"It doesn't make much sense for them to take her." Hiei finally broke the silence. "We've kept good records of the stronger apparitions here, and those who pose a threat are under constant surveillance."

"Then surely you know that humans still reside in Makai"

"Aa." He thought about the statement for a moment. "You're not implying that a human did this, are you" There was no response from the red-head, which irritated Hiei. "Ahou. No human would have the power needed..."

"Maybe not a full human." Kurama admitted. "Possessions... I don't believe there are many demons that have that ability. Though some would tamper with powers not born to them."

Hiei glared at Kurama, his patience quickly wearing away at the needless stabs at his factitious source of strength. The only real reason for the jab was because they had learned that his jagan was blocked by the kidnapper. Both of their powers were proving to be just as useless as the two spirit detectives following them.

"When they sealed the demons in Makai, there were several humans who were unable to escape. I was sure they would have been killed within hours of the confinement, but perhaps I was wrong in my assumptions."

"That wouldn't be far fetched."

"I'm not implying they couldn't survive in Makai through some other means, but demons have never been sympathetic to them, especially in that time." He grimaced before repeating the words of his possessed younger brother. "He said, 'Our agenda lies with punishing you for locking us up in Makai and for allowing you to become the assistant to the man who keeps us there.' I have no doubts now that this attacker must be a descendant of a human who was trapped in Makai with the other demons."

"Then why would he drag us into Makai without any direction? What's the point in making us wander for days?"

It was clear to Kurama why they wouldn't give them any clue to their whereabouts. Their grudge was with Kurama, not Hiei or the others. From the beginning, they had been trying to break the group up, and so far, they had succeeded. Still, unless he found a way to leave Hiei behind, he was risking another day of the wounded deity being held captive without coming any closer to where she was.

A pang of guilt surged through him. Botan was quite a character, the most emotionally unstable one of the group. At any given moment she could be scolding all of them as though they were foolish children, and in the next she would be the only one cheering them on, even at the risk of her own life. She was the soul of them all. Without her, there would have been no Spirit Detective Yusuke and therefore Kurama's life would have with no doubt ended after his wish to the Forlorn Hope. They all owed everything they had become to the deity, yet she asked for nothing, not even their respect. More guilt. They all treated her like trash. All of them were at fault for ignoring her or being downright rude to her. Despite all that, and even with her dealings with death, she remained completely innocent and loyal to them. That thought only infuriated him more. Only a coward would injure her and use her as bait.

"It's getting late. We won't be able to find anything as soon as it gets dark."

"Please." Hiei snorted. "Just because your powers are useless as night doesn't mean mine are. We don't have time to rest your weak human legs."

Kurama sighed silently. Trying to shake Hiei off would be much harder than he initially thought. He gradually slowed down, finally stopping under a large, inauspicious looking tree. The leaves were withered from lack of nourishment, so unlike the fortuitous foliage in Ningenkai. Makai didn't appear constantly dead as such, but the sight of even one of these wasting forests gave life to the driest deserts on earth.

"You said yourself that we were getting close." Hiei nagged. "Could it be that your senses are failing you?"

Kurama lowered his head as a smirk played across his lips. He had felt alone in his search until that moment. Hiei had never shown any sort of kindness or even any interest in Botan. Yet, here they were, deep inside Makai with Hiei ready to leave Kurama behind if he needed to.

"I'll only need a moment." He quickly glanced up at his partner only to find him already resting against a tree stump. "Thank you, Hiei."

"Be quiet and rest." He spoke through a yawn.

"Alright." He leaned against the tree, gradually slipping down to the ground.

-

-

By the time Hiei finally seemed to be asleep, Kurama could sense Yusuke and Kuwabara inching closer. It would only be a matter of time before their sheer noise would wake the sleeping fire-youkai. He pushed himself up silently and made his way over the worn path they had been following earlier. He waited there, half waiting for some sign that this was indeed the correct thing to do; the other half slightly worried what Hiei would do once he awoke to Yusuke and Kuwabara's faces instead of his own.

It had been nearly five years since they had first met, in a similar circumstance. Although his relationship with other people meant a great deal to him, it was often cumbersome having them used against him. His alliance with Kuronue had been much less riddled with setbacks. Nonetheless, he could be assured Hiei would be capable of taking care of himself in Makai. The smaller demon shifted uncomfortably against the stub on which he rested and his breathing became rhythmic once again, indicating a somewhat poised sleep.

Kurama knelt towards the soil, then retrieved a small seed from his red hair and pressed it into the ground. He waited for a drawn out couple of seconds to pass, then the seedling crept along the path while covering it in a thick blanket of tall, dry weeds. Even if Hiei decided to continue with his search, the disappearance of the path would hinder his ability to follow.

It didn't take long for the metallic smell of blood to return.

"Just be strong, Botan." Kurama pushed on in a run.

-

-

_Botan withheld her breath and her lungs began to ache with the need for air. She had never had such a fear for anyone in her life, especially someone she presumed to know. Of course, she knew of many horrible things Youko had done in his time that gave her great incentive to be afraid. And yet, she felt a sort of curiosity about the being before her. There must be something inside him, something she could do or say that would awake his humane side._

_And yet her fear paralyzed her. Youko stood, leaning against the entrance to the cave, his fine, silver hair swaying only slightly in response to the light wind._

_'Come on, Botan! Just think of him like who he is. Stop being a chicken.' She urged herself to crawl to the edge of the bed. Before she could summon the strength to stand on her own without the support of the bed, Botan fell under the piercing stare of the kitsune-youkai. His merciless eyes appeared to be looking right through her, but their subtle movement indicated that he was carefully scrutinizing her. The way he inspected a stranger hadn't changed at all. It was the same uneasy feeling she remembered having when she first seen the young teen._

_He walked purposefully in front of her; the intensity of his gaze caused a great discomfort for Botan as she unwillingly broke away from his look. It was only an instant before his hand reached out, snatching her roughly by the conjunction of her neck and shoulder. His thumb pressed against her pressure point, threatening to cripple her frail form._

_"Please..." She struggled to find something that would keep him from harming herself. "Kurama..."_

_"Stop addressing me as though you know me." He replied calmly as he kneeled over her, his body pressing against her luridly until her back was against the wall. Botan instinctively threw her arms up against his chest in a vain attempt to ward off his advancement. "He makes a mess of things sometimes."_

_"Kuro..." Before she could finish his name, his finger pressed harder._

_"It's like caring for an irresponsible brother." A sly smirk appeared on his lips as he used his one free hand to reach behind his hair. "I can't take care of all his pets. Especially a weak kitten such as yourself."_

_Youko brought his hand against her nose and mouth as she fought to turn her head. Unfortunately, her mobility was severely restricted by Youko's other hand. The moment she opened her mouth to gasp for air, a small seed slipped onto her tongue. She looked up to her capture with genuine fear, knowing that every seed hidden in his hair was definitely used for murder._

_"Go ahead and keep it in your mouth. I've always enjoyed the look of a woman before they suffocate."_

-

-

Kurama scanned the open field that grew suspiciously adjacent to the forest. He had never seen such a dramatic difference in landscape in his many years of living in Makai. Yet he knew she was somewhere within, her blood was unmistakably close.

"And finally you've arrived." A voice welcomed him.

"Where is she?"

"What would someone of your predominance care about a lowly deity as herself" There was a weighty silence before a chuckle interrupted. "I must admit, I am ashamed of you, Youko Kurama."

Kurama narrowed his eyes, still trying to determine her location. There had to have been some barrier preventing him from pinpointing her scent. Even his usher's voice echoed without a detectable source.

"My honor would not allow me to attack your human wench because I was well aware of her importance to you and her similarity to myself. Instead I find that your weakness extends much further than just her."

"If you had any doubts that I would come for her, why did you choose her"

"Whether or not you came was not my concern. I was heavily disappointed in the former Spirit Detective Sensui for mishandling the Chapter Black videos. Turning the entirety of humanity on itself would have been far to complicated for even you to handle. It is an unstoppable trait of us humans, isn't it?"

"What is your point?"

"With those tapes no longer accessible, I decided man will eventually kill each other off while I wait for that in the safety of a world that had been separated form them for their protection. Then I realized the sheer stupidity of Yamma. The fool who allows his infant son to use you and other reputable demons as his dogs. A tiff in Reikai would prove much more dangerous for humanity than anything they could do to themselves. It took many years, Youko, for me to develop a way to make a person relive one of your victim's pasts. To take their very last moment in life, their fear, anger, hatred, and make another feel the same as though they are dying by your hands. I commend you for allowing your prey to die after what you caused them to go through, but she will awake and live with those emotions forever. Who better to change Koenma's view of you than his most faithful servant?"

A large explosion kicked dust out of the middle of the field. Kurama shielded his face from the flying debris until it finally settled. His vision still blurred by the dirt, he stumbled foreword, running into a neatly stacked stone wall. Without hesitation, he ran to a large set of doors near the end of the wall and pushed them open.

At first he was too shocked to move. Her body seemed gaunt and sickly white even from his distance. Kurama waited expectantly for the speaker to appear and only reconsidered when he noticed how Botan struggled for air. He raced towards her, her appearance becoming ever more startling. Blood was pouring slowly, but steadily from the wound in her side, dripping on the floor below. He mindfully assessed her injuries and pressed his hand against her side, preventing further blood loss, and then carefully lifted her shoulders off the cool table.

"Botan." He said in a quiet, demanding voice. He wasn't sure to what extent that kidnapper had been telling the truth and therefore remained unsure of her dreams. Kurama hoisted her into his arms and began back at the door. Her heartbeat became noticeably faster as she began gasping for breath. Although he wanted to get her out of Makai as soon as possible, she would most likely die if he couldn't stabilize her.

Her eyes snapped open, wildly darting across the dark room before realizing that she was being carried. For a moment, she fell silent.

"It's just me, Botan." Kurama assured.

Suddenly, she thrashed savagely until her hand crashed into his cheek, causing him to stumble back a few steps before regaining his balance.

"Don't touch me"

-

-

I apologize for not updating sooner, but I fell into a horrible writers block and was slightly discouraged by the lack of reviews I have received. Then I noticed that maybe reviews aren't everything (yeah right... heh...) and finished the chapter anyways. Hope it's satisfactory.

I forgot to respond to my reviewers when I initially posted this story, but since I've gotten the time, let me beg for forgiveness by reposting the story with my replies.

Pili-chan: I hope you had a great holiday break and are having a wonderful new year. School can be such a nuisance, but I only have one more year left before I'm off to the big U schools, which is mostly why I started this story. I can't imagine sitting in some University writing about anime… But anyways, I was sort of haphazardly throwing out the first couple of chapters just to see if the idea would fly. Low and behold, it did for awhile. I apologize for my story being so confusing and I'll go back to edit it when I have time. And now that I've already stated it, it is quite difficult to create some situation for this unlikely couple to begin to notice each other in a romantic way, but I'll try my hardest. Thanks for the review, and don't worry about your grammar, look at my own. .'

Pen Copyright: I completely understand what you are saying. I've been struggling to write this because there aren't many outstanding authors, and I don't mean that as an insult either. Everyone has to start somewhere, and it seems they start here, you know? I've been thinking about this fic for some time now, but I couldn't seem to find the right words, and when I did, I was in such a rush to post it that it appears I've made quite a few mistakes. I'll keep in mind to edit the other chapters, and I thank you for pointing that out. I hate how I make stupid mistakes like the ones I've been making!

Anichan: I appreciate your review. Now that I'm stuck on how they'll actually get their feelings for one another, I sort of wish there was an alternative direction for the two to go. No other character on the show just looked into each others eyes and fell in love (save Shizuru, but I'm not a huge fan of hers anyhow.) and I don't like stepping off the platform the creator made. I hope my newest chapter leaves everyone on the edge, because I think the 5th chapter will be the last. I'll have to find a way to wrap this up quick!


	5. And Now the Wait

Ode to the Scorned

Chapter 5: And Now the Wait

.-.-

"Dammit! If there were anymore weeds that could possibly get in my way!" Yusuke raised his arm, extending his index finger with intentions to blast away the swaying vines obscuring their path until his wrist was snagged by Kuwabara. "What the-"

"Hold on a minute." He instructed while taking a couple of clumsy steps. "Ga!" Kuwabara dragged Yusuke behind him, both ducking behind the safety of a tree.

"Do you mind?" Yusuke pulled himself away from the spontaneous teen, bestowing a glare in response to the unwarranted escape. "Would you just tell me what the hell you're doing?"

"Look!" Kuwabara leaned against the tree, then covered his mouth as laughter threatened to expose the two of them.

"Is that-?"

"Yeah!"

"Where is-"

"I think he ditched the little punk."

"Should we-"

"Definitely."

It took only a moment before both of them realized that the fire youkai was no longer asleep. Once they were close enough to see him clearly, their fun was immediately ended. Hiei had certainly always looked angry, but never so much as he did then. Yusuke and Kuwabara continued towards him cautiously, aware of the sheer power emanating from the demon. Whatever it was that Kurama had done had managed to really piss Hiei off. Instantly, it became obvious what his transgression had been. As cruel as it had been for Hiei and Kurama to leave Yusuke and Kuwabara behind, they could hardly imagine how Hiei felt being treated just the same.

"There was a reason you were left behind." Hiei spat angrily.

"Likewise, Hiei." Yusuke responded. "It's not as though Kurama's trying to disappear. I can still feel his energy from here."

"It's not my business anymore. If he comes back alive tell him not to bother wasting my time anymore."

"Hey, I though you two were close. Don't be like that." Kuwabara defended the kitsune youkai. "He must've had a reason for what he did."

Silently, Hiei agreed with Kuwabara. Kurama had to have known for some time that Hiei was only getting in the way. He was forever planning within his complex mind. Even with years of human training, he remained the youkai he had always been. Hiei had admired his fabled strength as a child and was slightly intimidated by his determination to regain that power, even at the cost of his life. But the truth was Kurama held no alliance with anyone when he had a mission.

.-.-

Botan had fallen back into her deep slumber after her wild outburst. He propped her against the wall to keep her wound from touching the filth of the ground. Even in her weakened state, her slap had been more than enough to make Kurama much more cautious about lifting her again. He was content with explaining her actions as a survival instinct. She was in obvious pain, probably did not know where she was, and he had been less gentle than he had hoped considering the situation.

Still, it was unlikely that her captor was making an empty threat. If he had gone through the trouble of taking her and risking an encounter with Reikai officials, he wouldn't just hand Botan back without having done something to her.

His emerald eyes strained to see past her frail appearance. It angered him that anybody would want to hurt Botan. Just the thought of someone's hands on her... hurting her, or possibly doing something much more sinister than that brought out the feral being within him. He had been a monster in his past but never sullied his name by relying on another person as bait.

Just as his anger threatened to envelop him, a small moan from Botan drew his attention back to their dilemma. Her teeth were chattering and her body shook as a cool breeze brought the threat of rain. Kurama stood slowly, deliberately taking his time to sort through his options. He knew he was traveling on borrowed time, however, the barrier that had separated them from the rest of Makai had long since dissipated, leaving even the slightest twinge of his power detectable by other demons. That eliminated any hope of drawing Hiei or Yusuke's attention towards them. Yet, he could feel the growing restlessness of the demons who were following the short disturbance and knew it was only a matter of time before the smell of fresh blood would lure them right to Botan and him.

He lifted his jacket from his shoulders and wrapped it around Botan. Kurama carried her on his back in order to move at a faster pace and until that moment, he hadn't fathomed exactly how much blood she had lost. Her body shivered in a vain attempt to regain some heat as her frozen fingers clasped around his shoulders.

"Itai..." Botan cried in a whisper, her breath trailing across Kurama's neck.

She inhaled in his unmistakable scent with her head resting against his shoulder. He was so warm and she only wished that she could hold on a little more tightly. But it hurt to move just as much as it hurt to think and breathe. Why was there so much pain? Botan winced as she recalled her last memories. It had been Kurama. Kurama had tried to kill her.

Her heart began to race once her eyes snapped open. Where was he taking her? There was only one choice left. Kurama would never let her escape alive and there was no hope left for him. The Kurama she knew no longer existed, of that she was sure.

"Please forgive me." She said hoarsely, drawing her arm back as far as she was able to.

"You're awa-"

Before Kurama could finish his sentence, the air escaped his lungs and his throat coated with thick blood. He reached behind him to snatch the object that had been forced through his back and instead grabbed Botan's wrist. Everything seemed to move slowly as he fell to his knees against the grass. His eyes shot back at her for some sort of explanation. Her face was expressionless and never before had he ever seen Botan look as distant as she did right then.

The metallic clanging of the blade which had been pulled from his back as Botan fell backwards preceded the rushing footsteps of his partners.

"Hey, they're right there!" Kuwabara's voice drifted in from the coverage of the forest.

Botan scrambled to her feet, intending to run in the opposite direction until she was seized by the waist. Hiei's hand rested uncomfortably close to her open wound.

"Let me go!" She continued to struggle until she succumbed to her own pain.

"We need to get moving. Now!" Yusuke ordered.

"Wait a minute you guys." Kuwabara knelt in front of Kurama, whose eyes were frozen on a knife in front of him. He didn't even notice the others had arrived. "Kurama, it's us." He received no response. "Are you alright?"

"Kurama!" Yusuke called as he ran up beside the two. He extended an arm to shake Kurama from his dazed condition and found blood running down his arm. "Were you attacked?"

"No." He responded flatly.

"Then who did this to you?"

"We don't have time for your mindless interrogations." Hiei interrupted when he became aware of Kurama struggling to find a reasonable account for his injury. "Can you still walk?"

"Yes."

"Alright, let's get the hell outta here." Yusuke led the way in front of the group.

.-.-

"I'm not going to sat I'm not glad you found her," Koenma said as he stepped out of the back room where Botan was being treated. "But I'm also not happy that you broke as many, if not all, my rules to get into Makai. Just because I asked for your help doesn't mean to get special privileges."

"It's a good thing we don't depend on your thanks." Yusuke remarked.

"Yeah. How long were we supposed to wait for you to get yourself together?" Kuwabara added.

"There are protocols that must be taken. Who knows how many demons were able to sneak through when you all busted through without permission? That's just more work that needs to be done in the meantime."

"Koenma," Kurama said just above a whisper as he folded his beaten and stained jacket across his lap. "There's something I need to discuss with you."

"Sure." Neither of the men moved and the room fell into an unsettling silence.

"Geeze, if you two could be any blunter." Yusuke complained after giving an annoyingly loud sigh. He and Kuwabara filed out of the room discussing their endless discoveries of new tactics in the latest video game they had purchased.

"Is she stable?" Kurama asked when the door was shut.

"Well, physically, yes." He took a seat beside the red-head. "You had to have noticed by now, the way she's been acting. Has she said anything to you?"

"No, nothing."

"She has calmed down a few times in there, but those are short-lived. My only guess is that she's been having nightmares and can't really get out of them."

"You have the realm's best medical staff and that's your diagnosis?" Hiei scoffed. "She would have been better off in Makai."

"I have no doubt now that he was telling the truth. I had no other choice but to leave as soon as possible." He retrieved a small dagger from the pocket of the jacket that had been tucked away in a piece of cloth. "I wasn't able to decipher who kidnapped her, however."

"Let's just take one thing at a time. We have her back and that means he doesn't have any leverage against us."

Kurama nodded silently and started towards the door. "I need to be sure that he will not target my family."

"I understand. Take your time, Kurama; we have everything under control now." As he disappeared through the hallway, Koenma turned his attention to Kurama's seat. There were few times he had ever had to worry about Kurama because he had a way of taking care of himself, but even Kurama was often a victim of impatience. "How badly is he injured?"

Hiei looked towards Koenma, and then exited without a word.

.-.-

The walk home was hardly eventful, at best. It was still early in the morning as the sun struggled to rise above the horizon. A steady wind pulsed over the cooled surface and shook the morning dew from their resting spots atop various plants. A single breeze was enough to break the fragile bond between the life-sustaining moister and the waking shrubs.

As life rushed on, school becoming more intense and Koenma's tasks taking more precedence, Kurama found an easy solution to prevent the inevitable confrontation with his mother; bury himself in work. He had been gone for several days now without a word and returning with yet another wound on his human body. Kurama had seen the look in her eyes, the worry and fear that her son would no longer return to her that she could no longer find in herself to hide.

With every mission he could feel his human life drawing to an end. It wasn't as though he feared death, just that he had grown so attached to the woman who had shown him nothing but patience. Never before had Kurama been so driven to stay alive for a purpose other than him. Time was so precious. But here he stood, in front of his home that was unlit and lifeless. There was no better reason for him to risk his life than the sight of his family at rest.

He made his way across the living room and quietly pushed the door open. A note had been neatly folded and placed on a table next to Shiori's bed, indicating an urgent business trip for Kazuya. Kurama inched forward and reached out for her hand. She grasped his hand in an unconscious response.

"I'm home, mother." He murmured, kneeling next to the bed. The attacker had not lied about any of his other threats, but he couldn't afford to endanger Shiori or Shuichi. He still had work to do and now he had peace of mind that nothing had happened at home. "I won't be gone long."

"Shuichi?" Shiori felt his hand slip away from hers before she could even open her eyes. She briskly sat up in her bed, searching for her son or anything to prove that he had just been next to her. Unable to actually see him, disappointment settled on her heart and she sank back into her pillows.

She had felt for some time that Shuichi never really belonged to her or to anyone. Lately, he had disappeared for days at a time and she had become accustomed to going on with life and focusing on other insignificant tasks, yet there was nothing that could ever prepare her for the pain of not seeing Shuichi every day. Shiori couldn't relate with other parent's of college bound or departing children because she couldn't have the guarantee that her son would return alive. The scars on his body told a horrific story of Shuichi's hidden life, one of which she would never have the chance to share with him.

He came home every time, as beaten as he was. Her duty was to be there for him, to wait for him to return.

Kurama stepped out the front door when he felt Shiori relax in her room. He hadn't intended to wake her, but he knew she at least needed to know he was alright. Hiei stood by the mailbox, his arms crossed with his eyebrows furrowed with irritation. It didn't take long to notice why Hiei had tracked him down as blood unwillingly dripped from his fingertips.

"They'll be asleep for a couple more hours." Kurama said, retreating back into the house.

Kurama pulled his shirt over his head, revealing a deep gash just under his shoulder blade. Hiei held his breath in for a moment, and then looked up to Kurama. His strength was almost amazing considering the wounds inflicted on his mortal torso. He had been traveling for hours without hindrances while all along leading the others to believe it was little more than a small cut.

Kurama threaded a needle with a material similar to ordinary sewing thread and placed it on the table. "Unfortunately, I won't be able to reach it on my own."

"Feh. You had all the doctors in Reikai around you and didn't ask them to stitch you up?"

"I didn't have time then. Besides," A grin tugged at the corner of his lips. "If I had known you were incapable of helping me do such a simple task, I would have asked them."

"If you continue to speak," He snatched the needle out of Kurama's hand. "I'll lose my concentration and with this needle so close to your heart, I can't ensure that my hand won't slip."

"Of course." Kurama enjoyed a brief laugh.

Hiei brushed Kurama's thick red hair out of the way and, without hesitation, pushed the tip of the needle beneath his pale skin. Kurama didn't so much as flinch. Hiei could only surmise how he had obtained such an injury after their enemy had departed. He was sure that Botan had been the cause, though he could obviously sense that Kurama didn't want to discuss it. Kurama was usually good at hiding his emotions, but even his laugh dripped with anger. Hiei chuckled in his mind and almost felt sympathetic for the person who thought they could survive after crossing paths with Kurama.

"What next?" Hiei asked after tying the thread securely.

"We sit in Reikai," He sighed. "And wait for his next move."

With his wound repaired, he was able to reach Spirit World in less time than it took to leave. Yusuke and Kuwabara easily tied up Hiei in Koenma's office. Kurama took the moment of reprieve to visit Botan.

She looked much better regardless of the machines attached to her. Botan's face was full of color as it should have always been and she seemed to be sleeping in an undisturbed sleep. She livened up Spirit World, however ironic it may have been in regards to her job specification. The remembrance of the look on her face after she struck him and then again after she stabbed him still haunted his thoughts. He ran his palm across her blushing cheek and lost his thoughts in the continuous sounds of the monitors surrounding her.

"How do I... even begin to apologize for any piece of my past that he made you witness of?" He asked quietly. He suddenly felt ashamed. There weren't many people left who understood the full extent of his murderous existence as Youko Kurama and could easily forgive him for his heinous actions. "As good-hearted of a person as I know you to be, not even I can expect you to condone the behavior you must have seen." He stepped away from her.

Unless there was a way to explain her demeanor aside from the accepted dream justification, then she would certainly be volatile around him. Kurama closed his eyes as he reopened the door. Her smile was one which could soften almost anyone's heart, yet he couldn't help but envision her trying to pass any future smile, which would certainly be hiding a horrific moment in time where Youko Kurama had inflicted pain on her, as a genuine one.

.-.-

Itai- Ouch or 'It hurts.

.-.-

Anichan: Thanks for sticking with the story. You're right, reviews aren't everything, but I'm trying to get a feel for writing YYH fics and it's been a difficult transition from DBZ… there's aren't as many people interested in YYH, you know? In any case, I appreciate your review.

Lord of the dark Fluffiness: Thank you, that's very kind.

Christina Gomez: I had to stop at a cliffie otherwise I wouldn't have anything to write about in this story. And I'm sorry for not updating sooner, but I had a bit of trouble with this chapter.

MikaSamu: I tried to make a believable past for Youko without actually killing Botan as I'm sure he probably would have done in the past. Thanks for sending a review, it means a lot.

Archangel Rhapsody: Indeed. I imagine everyone would have a part of their past they wouldn't want to share with anybody else, especially Kurama.

Licensed to Kill: Thank you.

JDFielding: I couldn't think of any possible way that Youko Kurama would actually be kind to Botan since that really isn't his character. I think I have this all planned out; Kurama has to try something to prove that he isn't like he use to be, but that is where I get caught up. He has always been caring to Botan… I'll find a way, I suppose. I am grateful for your time and your review and I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.

A lilmatchgirl: I'm happy for the reviews that I've received, though I didn't really show that in the last chapter. I couldn't just let the villain not accomplish _something_ with his plan, and doesn't Botan make a great victim. Lol. Thanks for reviewing.

Kari Ishikawa: I felt bad for making Botan slap him, but I'm sure what she did in this chapter was much worse. It will all work out in the end, I promise. I'm glad that you enjoyed reading my story. Lol, yes, Kuronue is cute.


	6. Confessions

A level of despair is reached, where people are willing to die to punish their tormentors.

-William Kammeraad-

* * *

Confessions

* * *

Retracing the path that he had followed what seemed like a lifetime ago, Kurama studied the withered leaves laden with mud and debris with a fatigued look settling over his usually placid expression. It doesn't take much for the faith of friends to falter. Trust is an unstable idea with one side hoping that the other doesn't have the same doubts that they do. Botan had acted out with a violence that he had never credited her with and it was because she doubted the person that Kurama was. Her doubt became the leverage his enemy needed, and she was not the only person who was suspicious of him. Kurama clenched his fist at his thoughts, knowing full well that her response, however vicious, was natural. But if she was capable of providing power for his opponents so would everyone else he allowed close to his heart. 

He could cast his own doubts on his friends and family, but if they really knew his origins, their rejection of him would only be expected.

'_It's true that I have changed since taking up this form,' _he glanced at his comrade. _'I have friends now, not solely for personal gain, but because I want their companionship. But I can not deny that there are times that I take pleasure in torturing my prey- because that's what they are to me, disposable burdens preventing me from an ideal life.'_

That kind of power is impossible to separate from a man who knew nothing else for an entire lifetime.

With downcast eyes, Kurama came to a sudden stop in the middle of a familiar field. Hiei eyed his counterpart carefully, coming to a halt a few strides ahead of him. It was a complex sight to behold; the mixture of anger, guilt, and patience creating a storm in those emerald eyes. Kurama's eyes often betrayed his inner strength. They were the eyes of an ordinary human boy that understood the sight of suffering and pain and exposed sympathy in a way that Kurama had thought he was unable to. The emerald orbs were far more perplexing and interesting than his infamous golden eyes or Hiei's distant red ones.

The silence between them dragged on for an exhausting amount of time before Kurama knelt towards the ground, lifting a seed from the base of him neck and pressing it against the damp soil. It spread through the thick mounds of grass, choking other shrubs that had been in the way. The tiny vine shot up into the sky, revealing the hidden castle where Botan had been held captive.

"This is where it begins."

Hiei agreed without words and followed his companion towards the entrance. Lately, words hadn't been needed to declare anything on his behalf. He hadn't even questioned Kurama's decision to rush back to Makai after saying they would wait for the attacker's next move. Either way, it would be an engaging spar for Hiei that he had been missing in his long months working with Mukuro. An off smell interrupted his thoughts as it drifted through the air, causing the hair on Hiei's neck to stand on end.

"Chloroform." Kurama explained as he took a small step back and covered his mouth with his sleeve. It would be difficult to continue when his human body was so susceptible to such toxins. He didn't have the time to wait outside to think of a plan. No doubt that it had been part of the kidnapper's strategy. He was already ahead of Kurama in the game and that thought only irritated him more.

As if realizing the sense of urgency, the vines snaked their way through the small crack between the ground and the door and forced them open. Kurama raced in, his throat already burning from the sweet ether scent as he fell into a fit of coughs. Fortunate enough, the poison subsided greatly within the hidden walls. Kurama leaned forward slightly, resting his arms on his knees for a moment to steady himself.

"You needn't go on if you're unable to." Hiei glanced at the red-head. To be honest, he was somewhat worried about the injury to Kurama's back and the added effects of the airborne chloroform to his weakened body, though he wouldn't admit as much. "I can handle this on my own."

"Respect my need to do this, if nothing else Hiei," He choked out.

"Why has this become so personal for you?"

That was an interesting question, one which had no definite answer on Kurama's part. He immediately felt anger towards Hiei for asking – he didn't _have_ to explain his actions to anyone- but maybe that in itself was answer enough. As was the frown so openly displayed on his face. Kurama looked away; he had more pressing matters on his hands than to justify himself.

"You are becoming quite the annoying little creature, Youko." A harsh whisper drifted in from the darkened hallways.

"Show yourself and I can promise that you'll have a chance in hell of earning a painless death." Hiei threatened.

"Normally I wouldn't allow you to bring your pets inside my home," It continued. "But you've always had a thing for toting them along side you. I haven't kept good enough tabs on you these last couple of decades, tell me; what happened to Kuronue? He was so faithful to you. Is it possible you weren't responsible enough to take care of that one, so this child here is the replacement?"

It was impossible to tell who was angrier at the comment as both hastily ran through the winding hallways. Kuronue's death had remained a sore spot for Kurama. There weren't many people who had a deep understanding for the kitsune as Kuronue had. He had been his first and probably his only real friend. What secrets of his past had he kept hidden from Kurnonue? When had Kurama ever needed to hide who he was in front of him? Never. Kuronue's death was not enough to satisfy the people who hated Kurama. The constant reminder that he was so easily deposed of was infuriating.

On the flip side, Hiei hated being compared to the thieves of Kurama's past. He was no where near as close to Kurama as Kuronue had been and doubted he ever would be. This wasn't the first time he was called his pet and he knew he should have expected it. Kurama, though weaker in his human state, was on an entirely different plane than he was. Be that as it may, he was convinced that his expertise was fighting, not stealing, and therefore he was no more valuable to Kurama than Kurama was to Hiei.

Near the back of the castle was a large room lit by several candles. They both slowed down to a quick walk as the room grew brighter once they entered it. A chair was placed in the center of the room and a lone man sat with his back facing the newcomers. The fading scent of Botan's blood still clung to the man. None of them moved for a tense while until Kurama boldly took another step forward.

"So cautious," The man chuckled. "You act as though I'm going to kill you."

"What have you done to the girl?" Kurama asked calmly.

"The human mind is so complex, yet it is amazing how easily it can forget things. I could have sworn I've already explained all of that to you in out last encounter. Am I wrong?"

Hiei had not been fortunate enough to witness the initial dialogue between them and refused to allow himself to butt into their conversation until he understood what had happened to Botan. Kurama's anger seemed to dissolve once he had heard the unanswered response to his question nonetheless.

"Who are you?" His voice seemed more uncertain as he spoke, but Kurama's features remained cold.

"Who?" There was more laughter. "Why waste time talking? I thought you came here for a fight."

"It would be incredibly rude of me," Kurama took in a deep breath. "Not to know the person whom I am about to kill."

"Of course," He spun around in his chair, the candles illuminating his youthful appearance. To Hiei's annoyance, he was indeed at least half human. His eyes darted back to Kurama who hardly seemed to recognize the other man.

"You'll have to forgive my memory lapse." Kurama said dryly.

"I was just a child at the time. If I remember correctly, you and your accomplice attacked our village late in the night in search of my mother, Tsuya. Maybe her name doesn't mean as much to you as it did to your companion, Kuronue."

"I recall burning the entire village down." The red-head prompted. "I wasn't aware that anyone survived."

"Unfortunately for you, I was the sole survivor. A young maiden took me out to safety, but she was kidnapped by your cohort not long afterwards. Needless to say, she was a victim of your insatiable lust for women as well as blood."

"Is that-" Kurama couldn't find the right words to express himself for a moment as his blood ran cold, then continued. "The maiden, are those her memories that the girl has seen?"

A grin lifted the corners of the man's lips. It was obvious that all reasoning ended right then.

"Enough of this," Hiei broke up the discussion. Kurama's last words were urgent, something foreign to his mannerism. Kurama was an extraordinary demon whose past quickly became legend. Kurama rarely spoke of himself when he was a demon, and it was likely that his past was riddled with these heartless acts of cruelty against innocent lives. Hiei had no desire to listen to such defamation. His sword clicked as it loosened from the hilt. "I tire of your mindless babble. If your mother was a demon and couldn't handle her own fight, then she deserved what happened to her."

"Aren't you being a little cruel? Or maybe you enjoy damning your own mother. I seem to remember that she allowed her lust to overcome rational thought and died as a result of such weakness. Is that why you got that jagan, so you could keep a close eye on your sister and prevent her from following in the inevitable footsteps of your mother?"

Hiei launched an attack, driving his sword towards the weaponless man. He reached out a hand, grasping the dull side of the blade despite its speed and twisted it around before Hiei could react. Hiei's arm twisted painfully behind his back before he was sent flying against a nearby wall. Kurama stood in shock then ran towards Hiei once he had regained his senses. Botan's kidnapper hadn't even exerted any energy and he'd already defeated Hiei.

"Why have you invested so much time in tracking me down?"

"That wasn't my intention. _You_ were supposed to be dead."

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you hiding in Makai? There were many times in the past few years where the gateway was wide open."

"Where exactly do you suppose I live in Ningenkai, Kurama? I was not _born_ human as you were. I can not assimilate as easily as you did." He stood up; taking Hiei's sword that had been dropped as he crashed against the wall with him. "I don't care to talk anymore."

"Nor do I." Kurama withdrew his rose and held out his arm defensively.

With a crack, Kurama's rose relinquished its docile appearance and formed a lengthy whip of thorns. Without hesitation, he lashed it forward, catching Hiei's sword by the hilt and thereby freeing it from foreign hands.

_'That was too easy._' Kurama thought frantically, searching the man's movements for some indication of an assault. _'He is unarmed and alone in this room. What does he plan to do?' _His eyes widened. _'Does he want me to kill him?'_

Kurama watched stoically as the man lifted one hand up. A blast of wind raged through the room, blowing out the lone sources of light. The sound of heavy footsteps allowed Kurama to pinpoint his position regardless of his inability to see. His grip on his whip tightened and he bided his time to allow his eyes to adjust even in the slightest. When he finally decided to strike, he was quickly stopped.

"I wouldn't move just yet if I were you." Something brushed by his shoulder and he raised his rose whip to hit it only to have his left wrist tied up. Kurama instinctively tried to pull free from his captivity as the tiny wire dug deeper into his skin. "I spent innumerable years trying to beat you at your own game, but I soon tired of manipulating plants. There are more destructive materials offered in Makai."

The line worked its way up his arm and over his collarbone. Kurama was unwilling to drop his whip and leave himself open, but had no choice to reconsider when it pierced his most recent wound. With an anguished cry, Kurama stumbled forward onto another strip of wire that left a thin, but deep, gash across his cheek.

As painful as it was, Kurama stayed still, his face pressed up against the cable. His blood trickled down the wire, reflecting a dim light from outside. The entire room must have been covered once the light had been removed, making it too dangerous to try to pull back. Kurama hoped that Hiei wouldn't wake until he found some way to break down the hazardous cage.

Kurama's eyes flickered across the floor until he caught sight of Hiei's sword. It hadn't been so close before, be he didn't have enough time to analyses how it had reappeared there. He grasped the hilt, holding it with strange hands. He had hardly ever held such a weapon before because of its cumbersome weight and inability to make a clean cut. Kurama forced the blade in front of him; a quiet twanging noise announced the destruction of the wire.

Without warning, Kurama was lifted from the floor and thrown crudely against the wall, his feet just inches off the floor. The attacker stood within inches from him, his hand crushing his throat.

"I'm disappointed. You said you wanted to know the name of the one you were about to kill." The following smile was unsettling. "But it would seem that since you are the only one who will die today you will remain ignorant of my name."

Silence settled over the room as Kurama reached out to grab the man's arm. He was loosing far too much blood and was denied oxygen for so long that he hardly had the strength to fight back. Closing his eyes and using his remaining strength, Kurama summoned his plants to lift the sword as quietly as possible. The plant lunged forward, piercing the man's back and protruded out his chest, missing Kurama by mere inches.

Kurama fell to the ground as air rushed back into his lungs with a ragged gasp. Meanwhile, his attacker fell back against his own mess of wires.

"It was you," Kurama stated through heavy breaths. "Why did you move his sword for me?" The sun broke the horizon, lighting the man's smirk. "You are about to die and in all this time you had to live you wasted on a failed attempt of revenge. There aren't many people who get second chances and you..."

"Wasted it?" A low cough signaled what should have been a chuckle. "What more was there for me to accomplish in Makai than to try my hand at ending your life? Nothing I have done in these years was wasted. It was your own philosophy; everything has only one inevitable outcome, and that is death. I lie here without regret and do not fear death."

"You misunderstood me. No one in this room fears death..."

"Except..." His words were become harder to comprehend as his voice began to drown in blood. "You. You fear more... than anything... that you won't be there for your mother... and sooner or later," The wires collapsed, freeing the dying man. "You won't be."

Kurama, infuriated by his dying words, sent one last plant to expose of the demon then succumbed to his own pain and fatigue.

-.-.-

Shiori sat on the edge of her son's bed. He had been sleeping soundly for three days now, unaware of her presence or her worries. The blue-haired girl who had left with him days ago had brought him back without any explanation of what had happened. His body was ravaged and covered in blood though he was already healing much faster than she could have imagined. Luckily her husband was called away for business and Shuichi was also on a school trip. In her frantic loneliness she had thought about calling the doctor, but his wounds started to heal on their own. In any case, she had no plausible excuse for his extensive injuries. However, time was running out. Both her husband and step-son were due home soon.

She brushed his red hair away from his eyes and examined the cut on his face, which was also healing well. For as long as she could remember, she had pushed his strange abilities out of her mind, but she was grateful that he wasn't as ordinary as she had hoped. How else would he return to her alive?

Shiori lifted a bowl of water from his bed-side table to re-fill it with warm water and left from his room.

Hiei had been waiting just outside his window, as he always had. He hated this feeling that was becoming all too familiar to him. He hated the emptiness that followed such a battle, the guilt of seeing his accomplice so gravely injured, and all the while knowing that he had been too weak to do anything to prevent it.

Kurama's fighting level surpassed his own and was made evident by his return from the fight. He had gone into battle with a wound that alone could have cost him his life, but still came out victorious. Almost.

He hadn't shown any signs of being conscious for a few days now. Unlike Yusuke, Kurama hardly ever needed _that_ much time to recuperate, which was why he decided to pay him a visit. He pressed his hand against the window and began to slide it open before being interrupted.

"Oh, Hiei," Her voice was pained, but surprisingly she managed to offer a polite smile to the fire-youkai. "I didn't expect you to show up. How has he been?"

"Fine, considering the amount of blood loss," He paused for a second then continued. "Blood loss from the injury he received prior to the battle I accompanied him in. I failed to find any documentation in your report given to Koenma accounting for that particular wound, yet you were the only person with him at the time."

"Just what are you implying, Hiei?" Botan fired back angrily.

"I'm implying that you struck him with the dagger we found him carrying when he rescued you."

"You don't know anything." She remained shockingly calm and brushed passed him to the window. Just like Kurama, her eyes had given her away. They welled with tears and avoided Hiei's pressing stare.

"He was poisoned."

"We're already giving him treatment for the large dose of chloroform he inhaled."

"You're taking Kurama for an idiot. Koenma advised him against going back to Makai right away because we had you back. Yet he rushed in without even thinking anything through, and there's only one reason for that." He gave Botan a moment then continued. "He knew he didn't have long before the poison from the blade you used to strike him set it."

"I want you to shut up." She whispered harshly, still mindful of their vulnerable surroundings. "You weren't even there."

Gaining as much admission as he needed from Botan, Hiei glanced back at Kurama and stepped off the ledge, disappearing into the air. Despite his anger towards her, Hiei knew that she was only there to help him.

Botan immediately stepped into his room, knowing that she only had a matter of time before Shiori would be coming back. Taking just a moment to familiarize herself with Kurama's room, she walked over towards the red-head and pulled a paper from her kimono. There were a series of questions that would be used to find an antidote to whatever had been introduced into his blood. Everyone in Spirit World had been convinced that it was from Kurama's direct contact with the deceased man's blood.

She knelt down beside the bed and began to scribble notes as Kurama shifted uncomfortably. His breaths became shallow in his new position and the pain was reflected on his face. Botan set aside her papers and tried to stack some pillows against his back to ease his breathing when she seen the crude stitches across his shoulder. The area surrounding it was heavily bruised and unlike anything she had ever seen before.

"I should have known better." She scolded herself.

She was aware that both the Spirit world and Makai were better equipped to deal with these kinds of injuries than the human world, but Botan decided to bring him home. It was a decision she was quickly beginning to regret.

'I can't leave him here.' Botan walked quietly to the door and shut it soundlessly. 'I'll take him back to Makai until he's conscious.' She lifted a blanket around the kitsune to keep him warm on the journey, but the cloth was snagged by something. Botan swiftly reached over to the point where the sheet had been caught only to discover Kurama's fist clenching it with an exhausted grip.

"She'll..." His eyes were still closed, but the corners of his colorless lips were turned upwards into a grin. "Be angry with me... if I take her covers."

Botan suddenly felt relief wash over her. It was possible that Kurama could make a full recovery at home now that he was awake, but she couldn't chance it. She had already put Shiori through enough by letting her see her son so close to death, but if Kurama continued to stagnate then it would devastate his fragile mother to a point that not even Botan was willing to think of.

"I have to take you back." Botan whispered. There was an ear-piercing silence that followed her statement that was eventually broken up by Kurama attempting to clear his throat. Botan's nimble hands darted into her kimono, retrieving from it a small vile of liquid. "Here, this should help." She pressed it against his lips and allowed the drops to slip into him mouth when he didn't resist. "Don't try to talk for awhile. The chloroform..."

"I can't leave." His regularly smooth voice was raspy and almost too distressing to listen to.

"We can't treat you here, Kurama." She was nearly pleading with him.

"I trust that you, of anyone, can." Her heart skipped a beat as the words flowed purposely from his lips. She met his emerald eyes as tears sprung back into hers. After everything...

Botan let out a small cry and laid her head gently on his chest, her arms holding onto Kurama as though trying to impart some of her sorrow to him. How could he be so forgiving? For as long as the Spirit World had been keeping written history, there were always people hunting him down. Maybe he had been just an ordinary thief once, capable of feeling compassion in his youkai form. But a soul can easily become tainted in such a hateful, bitter world where killing is the only means of survival. Kurama himself was excellent proof of the venomous nature of Makai. A thief, a murderer, and yet the most merciful demon or human Botan had ever met.

Kurama was taken aback by Botan's actions, but welcomed them nonetheless. He raised his battered arm, ignoring the discomfort in response to his movement and placed it on her shoulder.

"I've been..." He found himself at a loss for words immediately. There was no simple way to explain his actions, but she deserved to know the circumstances of that night where she first saw what kind of monster he had been. "After I escaped Makai and made the human world my home, I expected all the survivors from my younger years to die and for my very existence to become questionable. In time, I was even hoping that I might forget some of the atrocities committed on my behalf. All these years that I've been trying to hide what I was..." He held in a breath then slowly said, "I have always been fascinated by the short life span of humans."

"Why?"

"I lived for so long... it's easy to take things for granted and for the heart to grow cold, but humans don't get that opportunity. With such a short amount of time to live, they manage to achieve something more that I could have in the centuries that I've existed. Their early deaths prohibit even the vilest of them from committing a fraction of the treasons and infidelities I carried out. And even their beliefs that life does not end here but begins once again in some heavenly world gives them hope that they might attain something greater than what their current life has afforded them. They have something to strive for, whereas..."

"You've seen it all." Botan completed for him. "Koenma has no intentions of punishing you, Kurama. I think he trusts you more than Yusuke sometimes."

"Kuronue wanted Tsuya." Kurama continued, ignoring her effort to comfort him. "I was later informed that she rejected him and that in itself was almost like an insult to me. He was like a brother and I wouldn't stand for anyone who would spite him like she did, so I convinced him that there was some trinket worth attacking for that was coincidentally located in her village. In the process, we found her home and discovered the reason why she had turned Kuronue away; she already had a family with a human. It was then we decided the only penalty worthy of her was torture and death."

Kurama allowed his hand to run down her hair and slip back onto the bed. He was no longer sure that telling Botan the truth was the right answer as her eyes welled up at his lost memory.

"We murdered her family and destroyed her village. But there... there was a girl who somehow survived. Kuronue took her to me," It happened so long ago, but the guilt was almost too much for Kurama to bear. He didn't need to explain in depth as he was sure Botan knew the ending to the story. Shame burned at his cheeks and he broke their intense stare. "I was truly a monster. My life was not as glorious as many demons believe it to be."

Botan sat up as she heard Shiori's footsteps drawing near. She was unsure what to make of Kurama's confession, but there was a more pressing matter on hand.

"I need to take you back." She brought up once again.

Kurama let out a small laugh at her persistence and gave a defeated nod.

"I'll come for you later tonight." Botan moved quickly to the window and mounted her oar. "Kurama..." The turn of the doorknob forced Botan out before she could speak to him.

--

It was nearly midnight before Shiori reluctantly left her son's room and by that time Botan could see that his condition was not improving whatsoever. She waited for the light in Shiori's room to dim before returning to Kurama's room. He was sitting upright with his back against the headboard of the bed. He was no longer conscious, which made the trip a little more difficult, but she was met by a team of doctors upon her arrival.

Once they had him stabilized, they began searching for the poison, although they could not find the knife used. It was obvious that he had gotten rid of it long before they even realized that the knife could become this much of a problem.

Botan sat in his room, monitoring his state and trying to be optimistic about the whole situation.

"Botan, you need to get some rest." Koenma slipped through the door.

"I know." She replied in a whisper, letting her eyes fall back on the sleeping red-head. "It's just... I can't leave him right now. If I would have..."

"Listen Botan, there were a lot of things going on. Kurama knew exactly what would happen so you need to stop blaming yourself. He's a strong kid; he'll pull through faster than you know it."

"Yes, of course." She wiped away the tears in her eyes. "I'll just be a little longer then I'll help you with your paperwork."

"Alright," Koenma hesitantly left the room. He knew more than he was letting on, but it was something they had to work out on their own.

Botan cleared her throat and shut the door a few minutes after Koenma had left, then walked up to Kurama's bed. He seemed to be in a lot less pain so she busied her hands with re-taping his bandages. She caught herself staring at the resting kitsune, lost in the complexity of his being.

He rarely seemed it, but he was a heavily wounded man on the inside, his heart marred by the savage lifestyle that continued to haunt him no matter how hard he seemed to push it away. Botan understood the significance Kurama's admission of his past had been. Kurama did not discuss too many things with Yusuke or Kuwabara and naturally he would never permit himself to converse such matters with his mother. With that, the only person left was Hiei, and a subject such as this would be almost taboo for the pair. These restrictions had caused him to keep to himself and have little trust in anyone.

Kurama had called himself a monster. She had always thought very highly of Kurama for being the more humane person in the group, though he was not exempt from a couple of slip ups. Therefore the word 'monster' wasn't one of which she would ever use to describe him. But she had attempted to kill him.

"Etsuya." Kurama whispered, still locked inside his sleep.

"Who is Etsuya?" Botan prodded as she readjusted the sheets nervously. Her voice roused him from his sleep which hadn't been deep enough to mask the sound of his proclamation just seconds earlier.

His green eyes glanced up at her while she worked feverishly to smooth out the wrinkles on the sheets beneath him. He forced himself up onto one elbow, giving a frustrated look when his body began to tremble in pain. Botan tried to ease him back down but before she had the chance his other hand swept behind her neck, pulling her in close to him until her lips were pressed clumsily against his. Her startled cry was stifled by their kiss and she immersed herself with concern for him with the awareness of how cold his lips were. She knelt beside him on the bed and carefully leaned over him, forcing him to lie back down. Botan opened her eyes, her breath coming out in slow pants as she pushed his tangled hair away from his face. He was struggling to hide his pain from her, but with determination, he sat up slowly and pressed himself against her so that she was underneath him.

"Kurama," She said calmly. "You need to rest."

He closed the little space that was separating them and placed his bandaged fingers on her lips. He looked into her eyes and brought her into another kiss that wasn't as gentle as the first one had been. It was not as though he was being forceful, but his weight was preventing her from moving away and a familiar sense of fear chilled her to the core.

She tried to turn her face away from him, breaking his contact with her and she pushed her hands at his chest uneasily. Botan avoided his stare and looked at the closed door across the room. She was not numb to the burning tears trailing down her flushed cheeks, nor was the man above her.

"I'm sorry," Botan said sympathetically. "It's just…"

He placed his elbows above her shoulders and traced the path left by her tears with his thumbs. He encouraged her to look at him once more and she was met by a saddened smile on his face. She seen nothing but kindness in the way he looked at her, but his movements, his touches, they were eerily similar those she had experience in that memory. It was not her memory, but it was someone's, someone's who had endured it and whose life had ended shortly after.

"There is a part of me, a part that you seen, that is difficult to amend," He breathed across her neck. "I will try my best to change that because this is my last chance to become the person I want to be."

"Don't." She murmured. He looked up at her. "I don't want you to change. You are exactly who you should be."

Kurama gave a slight nod as she touched the bandage covering his cheek. She leaned up and enveloped him in a kiss. She removed his shirt delicately and sighed quietly as his hands ran over her stomach as if in search of something until he traced the line where her injury had been.

"I don't even remember him doing it." Botan offered. She raised a leg up so that he could rest comfortably on top of her. He placed his head on her chest and listened to the steady pace of her heart. From this position, she could clearly see a ragged scar where she had wounded him. "But you remember…"

"I remember how happy I was to see you alive." Kurama interrupted her. "Happy that I could see you smile again. It is one of my most treasured memories."

Botan struggled to smile as his words left her feeling exposed. He had known the true depths of an evil she had only had a chance to touch on, but he still managed to function as a normal person, he still trusted her and everyone else. She had lost faith in him at the point where he needed her to be at her strongest and had therefore become his biggest liability. Yet here he was, his words full of sincerity and conviction, saying that he was happy to see her once again. Botan's momentary loss of faith had spurred him to say that he needed to change, when in fact it was everyone else around him that needed to learn and adapt the way he had. He really was the perfection everyone else was striving for, and at time it must be hard for him to accept that it was the others lacking behind him.

"I'm happy to see you again too." She admitted, wrapping her arms around him.

Shiori was not deaf to the sound of her son slipping through the front door, though he tried valiantly to sneak in. She lay motionless on the couch, pretending to be asleep. Once again she was put in the position that she could confront her son, but she was too scared. Scared to learn of the horrors he had been through and why he kept going back, all the while not being able to do anything for him.

He sat his bag on the floor and stood still, lost in the silence of the house he had grown up in. She had hardly rearranged a thing since he was young. Perhaps it was an attempt to hold on to him when he was gone; to look at the couch when the light hit it just right and expect him to be there so much that it was almost possible to actually see him. Kurama couldn't be sure, but Shiori definitely wasn't a woman who liked to change the house.

He ventured further into the living room and knelt on the floor in front of her. As if unsure what to do, he went to touch her, but quickly retracted his hand when she opened her eyes. He smiled to cover his surprise that she had almost certainly been awake the entire time he'd been in the house.

"I'm home." Kurama whispered.

She was quite, using the hiatus to observe how much Shuichi had changed since she had seen him last. No marks on his face… hadn't there been one right there? He looked so rested that she couldn't possibly be looking at the same son that she had seen before. Shiori had to be sure and thought about stroking his face to be sure he was actually there, but, if she was wrong and had dreamt it all up, she would only worry him. Her shock must have been apparent on her face as Shuichi leaned closer, wrapping his arms as best he could around her. Numbly, she sat up and accepted his hug then as she realized that Shuichi was alright, she hugged him tighter.

"Mom, I…"

"I'm glad you had a safe trip, Shuichi." Shiori's words were muffled in the collar of his jacket. They were frozen in a moment that threatened to continue for eternity until she let out a deep breath that gave away her sorrow. Her tears soaked through the thin fabric of his jacket, but he wasn't sure how to comfort a woman who had only hours ago seen her son so close to death. "But please tell me," As the words slipped from her mouth, she already wished she hadn't said them. Shiori felt Shuichi stiffen up as her worry became known and felt nervous about the future of their already awkward bond if he chose to answer her.

The seconds dragged on, one after another, each marked by a constant tick from a clock. He struggled to find an answer, struggled to tackle her question from every angle in case she had said something other than what he had heard. He could finally answer her, stop her from wondering why her son had been so strange since the day he was born, or he could throw the question back at her and get more clarification.

"What do you want to know?" Kurama answered with something similar to dread in his voice. He hadn't meant for her to hear that tone, but this definitely was not a discussion he was prepared for. He had given it some thought before, letting the one person who deserved the most to hear his secret, yet it just seemed safer to keep her unaware of his double life.

His mother was motionless, her face hidden in the fabric on his shoulder. Would he actually be willing to share his world with her? It was always a possibility, but she had always been too timid to ask him.

"Will you," Shiori wiped the tears from her face and gave a smile that presented more bravery than she actually possessed. The reasons he kept his life so secret were his own, and even her responsibility as a mother didn't seem like enough to intrude on that. "Just come home to me."

"Of course," He answered without hesitating. Etsuya was right; one day there would be a battle too great for him to overcome. That was the path he was destined for, his way of repenting for the horrors of his past was to prevent others from gaining the ability to cause the same destruction he had.

The only assurance he had these days was that there were people depending on him to return with his life, people who would be devastated if he should fail. That was a far stronger motivator than he had ever known in his years as Youko Kurama.

END

* * *

Sorry it took so long to get this out. I had plans to finish writing it during winter break, but I hadn't seen my family in four months, so I kind of let this story get pushed off. Then I was going to finish it when I got back for my second semester of college… but my classes turned out to be harder than last semester. And Spring Break… well, I didn't get much of anything done then. But here it is: the final (for real) chapter of this story. I tried to make it worth your time, I'm sorry if it didn't reach everyone's expectations. There is only so much more I could jam into this fic before I write it into the ground. 

I really appreciate all your support and putting up with my procrastination. Thanks for the reviews, it's been great.


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